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THUMP’S Real 30 Under 30 of Dance Music

THUMP’S Real 30 Under 30 of Dance Music

Thump.com a afilate of Vice Magazine release their version of The 30 Under 30 of Dance Music.

Yesterday, an EDM blog published a ranking of Dance Music’s “30 Under 30.” Somehow, that list managed to include exactly two females, the Krewella sisters, leaving the list at a whopping total of 3.3% female representation. The list was otherwise populated by male agents and artists that EDM blog bros hope to fist-bump at the next industry mixer.

Women aren’t the only group that are systematically ignored and under-represented, though. This industry relies on a whole class of silent underdogs who slave tirelessly for little recognition. It’s time for them to get some shine. Here’s the real 30 under 30 of the dance music world:

30. The Officially Designated Hugger at Breakfast Raves

Because you help yuppie investment bankers chugging kale smoothies to Kygo remixes feel so much more alive.
(Photo via Youtube)

 

29. The Horses That Gave Up Painkillers So That Hot Creations Could Make Music

Somewhere, there’s a Clydesdale in a world of hurt.
(Photo via: Sickchirpse.com)

28. Washed-Up Reality TV Stars Turned DJs

We’ve said it before: when life hands you lemons, learn how to use Ableton!
(Photo via Eclipse Entertainers)

27. Coachella Port-A-Potty Attendent

For making sure we never have to follow our own advice about not taking shits at festivals.
(Photo via Dailyencouragement.net)

26. The Reject Line of Berghain

You make millions of articles like this possible.
(Photo via bz-berlin.de)

25. Kid DJs

You’re the next generation. We believe in you!
(Photo via earhustle411.com)

24. Tiesto’s Dermatologist

If you look closely, you can actually see the Jäger seeping from the man’s pores
(Photo via Rukes.com)

23. Table Service Bros

Free booze! Free booze for anyone who says you’re awesome or has ladyparts!
(Photo via Brobible.com)

22. Ghost Producers

Beatport thanks you.
(Photo via Ehow.com)

21. The Kid in Indonesia We Paid to Ghost-Write This Article

We’re processing your payment, bud.
(Photo via Wikia.com)

20. “Max”


You may have failed high school, but you’re one hell of a drug dealer.
(Photo via Shutterstock)

19. Dubstep

Nobody expected you to still be around, but you are. We’re not even mad, we’re impressed.
(Photo via Searchpp.com)

18. Carnage’s Towel

God damn. The man sweats guacamole!
(Photo via Zazzle.com)

17. PR Interns

Your fortitude in the face of ignored emails is thoroughly commendable.
(Photo via EDMjobs.com)

16. @DJsComplaining

Still the best thing on Twitter.
(Photo via DJsComplaining)

15. Kids Who Vape in Clubs

Because they always have drugs (Even though it’s probably PMA.)
(Photo via Vaperev)

14. General Counsel Tasked with Wunderground Cease and Desists

You have your work cut out for you.
(Photo via Wundrground)

13. Dirtybird’s Dietitian

For making sure they get their vitamins in between all that barbecue and booze.
(Photo via LisaLeePhotos.com)

12. Alison Wonderland Fans

Swear to God, we have never seen a more respectful Instagram comments section.
(Photo via Inthemix.au.com)

11. #SHIPFAM

You call it “cabin fever,” we call it “syphilis”
(Photo via Twitter)

10. Skrillex’s Hairdresser

We can only assume you haven’t left his side since 2011.
(Photo via Billboard.com)

9. DVBBS

Shit, auto-correct.
(Photo via Hype.my)

8. Nicolas Jaar’s Barista

Rumor has it that he puts .0001 grams of LSD in his quadruple espresso every morning. Hey, whatever keeps the guy productive.
(Photo via HeraldSun.Au.com)

7. The EDM Streaker

We love you.
(Photo via EDMliveset.com)

6. Uncredited Nightlife Photographers

#thanksconnie
(Photo via ThatDrop.com)

5. People Who Respond to “U awake?” Texts at 6 AM

Because we just want to chill and listen to music. You feel, fam?
(Photo via Corbis)

4. Internet Collectives

How many people does it take to make a trapical-future-bass-house track?
(Photo via Harry Enfield)

3. The Horny Teenager Who Controls Diplo’s Twitter

You’re killing it.
(Photo via Andy Milonakis)

2. Whoever Makes Those “Party With Sluts” Shirts

It has never been easier to spot virgins.
(Photo via People of Walmart)

1. YourEDM

For reminding us that the two hours spent writing this article were worth it to bring attention to the fact that the music industry doesn’t have to be a shortsighted whiteboy circlejerk.

(Photo via YourEDM.com)

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