Thump.com a afilate of Vice Magazine release their version of The 30 Under 30 of Dance Music.
Yesterday, an EDM blog published a ranking of Dance Music’s “30 Under 30.” Somehow, that list managed to include exactly two females, the Krewella sisters, leaving the list at a whopping total of 3.3% female representation. The list was otherwise populated by male agents and artists that EDM blog bros hope to fist-bump at the next industry mixer.
Women aren’t the only group that are systematically ignored and under-represented, though. This industry relies on a whole class of silent underdogs who slave tirelessly for little recognition. It’s time for them to get some shine. Here’s the real 30 under 30 of the dance music world:
30. The Officially Designated Hugger at Breakfast Raves
Because you help yuppie investment bankers chugging kale smoothies to Kygo remixes feel so much more alive.
(Photo via Youtube)
29. The Horses That Gave Up Painkillers So That Hot Creations Could Make Music
Somewhere, there’s a Clydesdale in a world of hurt.
(Photo via: Sickchirpse.com)
28. Washed-Up Reality TV Stars Turned DJs
We’ve said it before: when life hands you lemons, learn how to use Ableton!
(Photo via Eclipse Entertainers)
27. Coachella Port-A-Potty Attendent
For making sure we never have to follow our own advice about not taking shits at festivals.
(Photo via Dailyencouragement.net)
26. The Reject Line of Berghain
You make millions of articles like this possible.
(Photo via bz-berlin.de)
25. Kid DJs
You’re the next generation. We believe in you!
(Photo via earhustle411.com)
24. Tiesto’s Dermatologist
If you look closely, you can actually see the Jäger seeping from the man’s pores
(Photo via Rukes.com)
23. Table Service Bros
Free booze! Free booze for anyone who says you’re awesome or has ladyparts!
(Photo via Brobible.com)
22. Ghost Producers
Beatport thanks you.
(Photo via Ehow.com)
21. The Kid in Indonesia We Paid to Ghost-Write This Article
We’re processing your payment, bud.
(Photo via Wikia.com)
You may have failed high school, but you’re one hell of a drug dealer.
(Photo via Shutterstock)
Nobody expected you to still be around, but you are. We’re not even mad, we’re impressed.
(Photo via Searchpp.com)
18. Carnage’s Towel
God damn. The man sweats guacamole!
(Photo via Zazzle.com)
17. PR Interns
Your fortitude in the face of ignored emails is thoroughly commendable.
(Photo via EDMjobs.com)
Still the best thing on Twitter.
(Photo via DJsComplaining)
15. Kids Who Vape in Clubs
Because they always have drugs (Even though it’s probably PMA.)
(Photo via Vaperev)
14. General Counsel Tasked with Wunderground Cease and Desists
You have your work cut out for you.
(Photo via Wundrground)
13. Dirtybird’s Dietitian
For making sure they get their vitamins in between all that barbecue and booze.
(Photo via LisaLeePhotos.com)
12. Alison Wonderland Fans
Swear to God, we have never seen a more respectful Instagram comments section.
(Photo via Inthemix.au.com)
You call it “cabin fever,” we call it “syphilis”
(Photo via Twitter)
10. Skrillex’s Hairdresser
We can only assume you haven’t left his side since 2011.
(Photo via Billboard.com)
(Photo via Hype.my)
8. Nicolas Jaar’s Barista
Rumor has it that he puts .0001 grams of LSD in his quadruple espresso every morning. Hey, whatever keeps the guy productive.
(Photo via HeraldSun.Au.com)
We love you.
(Photo via EDMliveset.com)
6. Uncredited Nightlife Photographers
(Photo via ThatDrop.com)
5. People Who Respond to “U awake?” Texts at 6 AM
Because we just want to chill and listen to music. You feel, fam?
(Photo via Corbis)
4. Internet Collectives
How many people does it take to make a trapical-future-bass-house track?
(Photo via Harry Enfield)
3. The Horny Teenager Who Controls Diplo’s Twitter
You’re killing it.
(Photo via Andy Milonakis)
2. Whoever Makes Those “Party With Sluts” Shirts
It has never been easier to spot virgins.
(Photo via People of Walmart)
For reminding us that the two hours spent writing this article were worth it to bring attention to the fact that the music industry doesn’t have to be a shortsighted whiteboy circlejerk.
(Photo via YourEDM.com)